So during one of my last lazy days before I go back to school, I was watching the Anderson show. It was big debate between which is better, being a stay at home mom or being a working mom. I wanted to contribute to the conversation but the people on the television couldn't hear me, so I thought I'd get it out on my blog. :) Some really good points were made on each side and I tended to agree with everything to a certain extent. Here was the general concensus:
Working mothers viewed stay at home mom as lazy, hiding from responsibility, overweight/do not take care of themselves, selfish, etc.
Stay at home mothers viewed working moms as selfish, not as close to their children, neglectful, etc.
I found this all very interesting. Mostly because I am a firm believer in the fact that not ONE THING is the answer for everyone. Every woman is different and every child is different. We all have different personalities. So to say that everyone should be a working mother or everyone should be a stay at home mother is simply silly. I would think this is common sense. What I find the most silly is these women just assume their way is the best. That just because it works for them, that means everyone should do it that way.
I was raised by a stay at home and I loved it. I loved that she was always there, especially when I came home from school. As I was growing up I always thought I would be a stay at home mom as well. However, given the economy and the state of the current world, it is a little harder to live on one income today than it was years ago. I have enjoyed going to school and look forward to my future career, even if it is small. I look forward to being able to contribute to the livelihood of my family. I do not have any living children (yet), but I am sure it is difficult and takes up your whole day, so I do not think being a stay at home mom is any less busy than a working mom.
I truly believe raising your children is the most important thing you can devote your time to. Yes it is important to provide for your children and provide that stability, but being present in their lives is something that will have lasting effects for the rest of their lives. I do think it is important to be responsible and take care of your children's temporal needs, but to say being a stay at home mom is being lazy, I think, is ignorant.
I guess what I am trying to say is why does our society feel the need to decide which is "better"? Why does it matter? Mothers love their children and would do anything for them and want to take care of them. Whether that means working outside the home to provide for them or staying home to be with them is definitely an individual decision and frankly no one else's business!
On the contrary... I believe people on TV can hear you yell at them, they choose to ignore us.
ReplyDeleteLOL.. you are funny
DeleteThanks for your insight Jess! I've chosen to be a stay at home wife (and hopefully someday mother) because I truly feel it fits my needs and my personality. I feel like I was born to be a homemaker, and I'm passionate about it. But I admire so many women who are teachers or nurses or secretaries. They've chosen a different career than I have, which makes sense. We wouldn't like it if everyone were a doctor or a lawyer. We need bus drivers and accountants and architects as well. We also need homemakers. I think you're right that everyone should stop trying to figure out which is "better." That's like trying to figure out if it's "better" to be soft spoken or outgoing. People may have opinions about it, but we all know that in certain circumstances we appreciate the soft spoken peacemaker just like in others we appreciate the outgoing leader. Neither one is "better." The best answer is for everyone to be what they are meant to be, the best they know how--whether it's a full time homemaker or a full time CEO.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, my only complaint is that when stay at home mom's complain about lack of money that their husband makes. yet they don't want to work to help out. I work part time so that I can be home with my kids when they need me, and also contribute to my family income. I sometimes feel guilty that I only work part time, and my Husband works so hard. To not work would be great then I wouldn't have to get up and workout at 4am. I had a mom that work full time because my dad passed away when I was 14. 1-17-12 will be 20 years of his passing. she didn't have anyone else to help. I am the CEO of the Woo family and that is the only CEO I want to be. :)
ReplyDeleteI completely agree Vesta. Firefighters do not make great money... lol I am so grateful I have a husband who has a career he loves. That makes me happy. But to be realistic, I need to finish school and help with the family income if we want to accomplish some goals we have set for ourselves. That doesn't make Justin any less of a husband or provider, and it won't make me any less of a mother. I am just grateful we live in a society where we have the complete freedom to choose how we want our family dynamic to be :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom stayed at home and it was nice. I think I have a really good setup how it is now. My hrs were reduced to 32 hrs a wk and I didn't like it at first b/c it did impact our income quite a bit. But I get to be home with my girls sooner. So the girls are only at the sitters house for 5 hrs a day. I like that.
ReplyDelete