Friday, March 30, 2012

Doctor Appointment #2

So! I had my second doctor's appointment this morning and had to rush to the school to write this post before class starts because I am so excited to share my news!

A little background of the last two months to catch you up. No positive ovulation tests, a skipped period, right ovary pain the last few weeks and strange bleeding.

Thankfully Justin and his partner were able to drive the ambulance over to my doctor's office so he could be there with me. So we started out by talking to my doc, I told her what happened the last couple months since our last visit just to confirm that I was in fact not ovulating on my own. I then told her about the ovary pain that has been off and on over the past few weeks and she was worried about an abnormally large cyst. If that were the case, any fertility stuff we did would be obsolete so we needed to take care of the cyst issue first. She did an ultrasound to look at my ovaries, which I am glad she did considering they haven't been looked at since the fall of 2010 and all this ovary pain has been happening recently. She didn't find any abnormally large cysts, just the typical small ones throughout, which is normal for a PCOS ovary. She did say my right ovary is larger than my left and that is probably why I always feel it and it is so sensitive, but as for big cysts getting in the way of conceiving, not a problem!! :)

So she gave me the prescription for Clomid! Yahoo! The good news is, the doctor appointment and my days lined up perfectly so I can start the Clomid next week and I don't have to wait another few weeks to get started. The scary news is that is happening so fast!!!

So here is what will happen now, I will take the Clomid next week (bring on the hot flashes!) and on April 9th (in a week and a half) I will go back for an ultrasound so she can make sure I produced some eggs. She also wants to make sure I don't produce too many eggs. After all, with an incompetent cervix, we don't want multiples! At the appointment on the 9th she will also give me an HCG shot (yikes) to guarantee that I will ovulate within the next 24-36 hours. We all know what that means... :) Then I wait for two weeks and take a pregnancy test and see if we were successful! :)

That is the road map, so how am I feeling? I can't even describe how I am feeling. As I left my doctor's office and headed to the school I just cried. Out of excitement, out of relief, and out of sheer terror. I find it so exciting that this is a real possibility this month! No more guessing and waiting. I mean we've actually started this process and it is exciting, but so so so so scary!

I also realized something as I was looking at the calendar. We will know whether we are pregnant or not just a few days following Emily's first birthday.... I am having mixed feelings about this. Emily's birthday is going to be so hard for me, I mean I start crying just thinking about it. Having to mix in the excitement/nervousness of being pregnant again so soon after celebrating Emily's big day is confusing for me. So like I said, I don't really know how I am feeling. So there it is! We could be pregnant this month :)

My normal nature is to be a realist. I am always preparing myself for the worst possible outcome, just so I know I am prepared for whatever may come my way. Given the history of my life, I hate getting my hopes up only to be utterly crushed later on. So I am always prepared. Right now I haven't taken the time to think through all the possible outcomes of the next month. Right now I am simply enjoying that there is HOPE this month. Yes I know the Clomid might not work and I will think of that next week, but for now, I am going to relish in the wonderful possibility of starting our family :) Thanks for reading :)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Life is Good

Hello everyone :)
Just thought I would drop in and give a quick update since it has been awhile since I have posted anything. Life is good. Can't complain too much. School is going well and spring break is next week so that makes me happy :) Justin still loves his job and that makes me happy too :) As far as pregnancy goes, well still working on it :)
Currently 3 weeks late but no positive pregnancy tests. I am not real sure what to think about this. I was about 3 weeks late before I got a positive test with Emily so part of me thinks there may be a real possibility. I also keep telling myself that the ovulation and pregnancy tests I have been using are bogus since I got them off Amazon so I got a test from walmart and that one was negative too. So to be honest I am not real sure what day I am on or when I am supposed to start testing with the ovulation tests again....? Who knows. For now I am just assuming I am not pregnant because if I think otherwise I will just get my hopes up and we all know that always ends in disappointment. So until I see 2 lines I am not thinking anything. I have decided to just schedule an appointment with my doc for early April sometime and we will go from there.
We are also coming up on the 1 year anniversary of Emily's birth/passing. I am pretty nervous about this. I do not really know what to expect. I am planning on making a cake but other than that we do not have much planned. I would like to do something to make it memorable but I am not very creative. Any ideas? I could have a family thing but I'll just end up crying all day and who wants to see that? :)
Well that is all for now. Life is good and it is only going to get better (hopefully).
Thanks for reading :)