Well, it's December. And has been for 23 days. For those of you who have read my earlier posts may remember that this is the month Justin and I had originally decided to go to the doctor and go back on Clomid. As it was coming up on December I kept waiting for that excitement to hit me, but it has yet to come.
I have already decided which doctor I want to see but I haven't decided when I will call. I don't want to go see the doctor simply because it is December if I am not feeling excited about it. I want to feel excited about having kids like I was last time when I went on the Clomid.
Now when I think about getting pregnant and having a baby all I feel is anxiety and feeling unsure. After we lost Emily I thought a lot about whether we were/are really ready to have children. While I had been pregnant I didn't have any doubts, but after she was born I wasn't so sure. I don't know why my feelings have changed. If you had asked me back in June or July I would have gone to see a doctor in a heartbeat because I felt more than ready to do the pregnancy thing again, but Justin and I had agreed that we should give it more time. Now that that time has passed, I am no longer feeling that excitement that would normally accompany an anticipated pregnancy.
I guess I am just waiting to feel the excitement and desire to be a mom again before I make my move and call the doctor's office. I have no idea how long that will take, could be next month, could be a few months...Anyone have any tips or suggestions to get back into that baby having mood?? Thanks for reading!
Just make sure that it isn't fear that's keeping you from being excited.
ReplyDeleteI think that may be a good possibility. But I also don't know if that is the whole reason.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't feel ready, that's ok. Feeling afraid and/or anxious toward another pregnancy after a loss is very normal. Many of us who went on to try again have felt the same way.
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