Yes you read that right. Triplets. But before we get into that let's start where I last left off. My last post consisted of celebrating Emily's birthday and how we were still in our 2ww. Even before the 2ww was up I knew I was pregnant just based off how I was feeling. 14 days post HCG shot I took a test and it was positive. I would have worried that it was a false positive from the shot, but I took a test 8 dpo and it was negative so I knew the shot was out of my system and my positive was real! I couldn't believe I had a positive test already. I was 6 1/2 weeks before I got a positive test with Emily so this early of a test was surprising. The first thing I did, after telling Justin and a few close people, was call my doctor's office. They weren't going to see me until I was 8 weeks so I had a little over a month to wait... I told the nurse I was PCOS and I was worried about my levels and miscarrying so they had me go in that week to get my blood drawn. They drew my blood again about a week later to see how my HCG levels were multiplying.
When I called to find out the results of the blood work and whether or not they needed to stick me again, they told me they wanted me to come in the next week for an ultrasound because my HCG levels had sky rocketed. If you remember during the earlier ultrasound, there were two good eggs so we knew the chances of twins was higher than normal. Never in a million years did I ACTUALLY think I would have twins, but we'll get to that later. Anyway, they wanted me to come in for an ultrasound at 6 1/2 weeks to see what exactly was going on and why my levels were so high. I immediately knew I was having twins. For several reasons. First because I had such a dark positive so early, before I even missed my cycle! Second, the exhaustion and nausea started even before my positive test, weeks earlier than it hit me with Emily. All the pregnancy symptoms I had experienced with Emily were hitting me so much harder and so much sooner so I knew this was either twins or I was carrying some super baby! But of course there was still doubt in my mind until I got the confirmation from the ultrasound.
Well fast forward to this week. My ultrasound was scheduled for today (Friday). Earlier this week on Wednesday I had some cramping and a tiny amount of spotting and was totally freaked out so I called my doctor's office and went in for them to check me out. They had to do an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay so I got to see even sooner than I thought I would. Justin was working so I was by myself. The Nurse midwife that is in my doctor's office did the ultrasound and informed me that I was in fact having twins and that besides a small cyst on my right ovary, everything was looking fine. Even though I had suspected I was having twins, I still wasn't prepared for the over all panic and shock that hit me when she actually said there were two babies. I mean holy moly! She continued to poke around and look at some stuff which I thought was strange considering we had already heard both heart beats and she confirmed everything was fine. After a few minutes she quietly said, "let me show you what I am looking at", she turned the monitor back around and showed me the three sacks and proceeded to explain that there was a third baby. I was completely floored! 3 babies?!?!? How is that even possible? There were only 2 good eggs! What is happening!?!? Needless to say I didn't say much I was just speechless. The nurses were worried I was so shocked I shouldn't be driving and asked me if I wanted to call someone to pick me up lol
The third baby was measuring smaller and the heart beat was much slower than the other two which caused some concern on whether it would make it or not. They decided to keep my originally scheduled ultrasound for Friday to check the progress of the third one. Even though I wanted to announce our triplets immediately, I wanted to wait to make sure it would even make it. The next two days went by SO SLOW!!! I was just dying! After I left the doctor's office I went straight to Justin's fire station where he was working and showed him the pictures. All he could do was smile. He just giggled because it was so unbelievable and we were both in shock!
So fast forward to this morning for the ultrasound. My doctor was there this time so that was nice to be able to talk everything through with her. The ultrasound today confirmed that there are in fact three babies. One egg split so there are two identical and 1 fraternal. Absolute craziness. We were finally able to hear the heart beat of the third one and it had caught up to its siblings which was a comfort.
So how am I feeling? Every emotion possible. And it changes by the minute. So normally if anyone asks I am mostly speechless. I have had a few moments of being excited, but getting all three of them here safely is so far off and so many obstacles away at the moment. I am only 6 1/2 weeks with three babies so anything could happen at this point. Makes it very scary. I could end up miscarrying one and bleed out the others in the process and lose all of them, worse case scenario (well one of them). So our first hurdle right now is to make it to 12 weeks with all three babies still in there. Obstacle number 2 is the cerclage. I will see the high risk specialist at 12 weeks and will get stitched at 13 weeks. The thought of getting my cervix stitched is so incredibly scary, but also a bit of a comfort too. Gives a little reinforcement. But then there is a big risk with the cerclage. My doctors are not 100% sure that I have an incompetent cervix. Losing Emily could have been from just preterm labor. If that is the case, a cerclage will not help preterm labor and I could tear right through the stitch. Very scary.
My doctor said weeks 22-28 will be the scariest simply because the babies will be getting bigger and that's my biggest risk of preterm labor. She said we can breathe a huge sigh of relief once we get to 28 weeks. Because that means viable babies that have a higher chance of surviving the NICU. She said if I happen to make it to 32 weeks we will have a party :) wahoo! So long weeks ahead of us full of worry and stress and the possibility of anything happening!! We debated whether or not we should announce our news yet, whether we should wait til we were "out of the woods", but then we realized this whole pregnancy is a risk and we will never be "out of the woods" until all babies are here safely. So we couldn't keep it a secret forever and I figure the more people who know, the more prayers there will be :)
One thought I keep coming back to is there has got to be reason for this. Heavenly Father must know what he is doing. Because to have BOTH eggs fertilized and then have one split to give us triplets is just so astronomically crazy! The nurses told me I should go buy a lottery ticket lol. I can't help but think that this happened for a reason and I am supposed to have these babies, because the chances of it happening otherwise is just practically impossible. So maybe they all will make it here safely :)
In a moment of panic after our first ultrasound Wednesday I thought to myself, "not that I wish this, but I wouldn't be heartbroken if the third didn't make it and I just ended up with two". But to be honest, when the nurse midwife couldn't pick up its heart beat I panicked. I was so worried there was something wrong with one of them. I had no idea how instantly attached I became to these babies as soon as they told me there were three. And I realized that even though I know it is going to be the hardest thing I will ever do, I really want to keep all three babies. Which to be honest, surprised me. After losing Emily I told myself that I would remain detached in future pregnancies until I had that baby safe in my arms, but here I am at 6 1/2 weeks and am already attached to these three little babies :) Holy Moly Heaven Help Us!!! Thanks for reading:)