Well, I left the doctor's office feeling disappointed and now more confused than before. They did an ultrasound, which was great. The babies are looking so big and are doing so great. They were all moving around and looked so cute. Baby C (the singleton), which was originally smaller than the twins is now bigger than the twins! They were adorable and it was great to hear how well they were growing and how great their hearts looked and so on.
Then it was time to see the doc and here is what I learned: Nothing. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. It was nice to be able to talk some things through with him and just get some confirmations on things. For example, he thinks it's great that I want to start swimming and has no reservations about me doing so. He is not concerned about my weight gain and says the weight I put on has no direct affect on how big my babies will be. I was worried about being able to put on all the recommended weight. I am supposed to gain 50-60 lbs and so far I have gained 3. I know I am only 13 1/2 weeks and the weight will come, but I am still not convinced I'll gain 50-60 lbs, and I was worried I would have small babies as a result. He told me not to worry about it and just eat what was comfortable and healthy and the babies will do fine.
Now, here are some things he did not have answers for. I asked when to expect bed rest. He said he had no idea and that is not something I have to worry about until I get into my mid 20's weeks. He said I was free to live life as normal until then. Which is great! More time to decorate my house! But he still wasn't sure when to expect bed rest or to what extent that bed rest will be.
The big topic that I got no information on was the cerclage. I went into this appointment expecting him to talk about the cerclage and schedule it. We did talk about the cerclage, but ultimately he left it up to me and Justin on whether we wanted to do it or not. I have until next week to decide. The thing that makes this all so hard and confusing is what happened with our first pregnancy. No doctor, including the perinatologist, has been able to determine what went wrong with Emily, whether it was a cervical issue or preterm labor. Therefore, no doctor has been able to tell me whether the cerclage is really necessary or whether we should put it in "just in case". I kept asking him what he thought was best or what he would do if he were me and he still wouldn't tell me. He just kept telling me, "I can't tell you that, you just have to decide what you want to do". Ugh! I need a professional to tell me, "yes, a cerclage is a good idea, let's do it" or "We think you will be fine without one", either way, great! Just give me something to go off!
So I left with no more information than I already knew and now I have to decide for myself if I want the cerclage. To be honest, I am completely on the fence. Any time I think I should do it one way, I change my mind. I don't know if I need one. I don't know if I should add extra bills for procedures that aren't necessary. But there is also a "what if" that lingers. So why not just put it in as a "just in case"? Well, why would I put myself through more procedures if it won't do me any good? Or add even more expenses to an already expensive pregnancy? I know money should be the last thing I think about but it still seems to be a factor in this decision... gah! help!
So hopefully in the next week or so I will have a better idea of what we want to do. I just hope when it is all said and done I will feel 100% comfortable with what we decide and I don't spend the rest of my pregnancy second guessing myself..
My lovely best friend came with me to the appointment since she is in town and Justin had to work. We stopped by the fire station and showed him the pictures and mentioned the cerclage issue. I briefly asked him what he thought and he doesn't know either. Plus the tv was on and all the other guys were sitting around and it just wasn't the time to make a decision so I will have to wait til he gets home to discuss it further.
So other life updates. We close on our house Thursday! That is in two days! Which is awesome because we have been with my mom the last week and a half. I love my mom and Justin has been working a lot and hasn't been around much anyway, but I am ready to have my own house again and I am sure my siblings are ready to have their beds back :)
I have an appointment with my regular doc next week and we still have to decide on the cerclage, so I am sure you will hear from me sometime soon. Hopefully I am feeling better by then too. I am entering my 2nd trimester and am so ready to feel better! Not going to lie, I am pretty tired of feeling awful. I am ready to be done with this pregnancy lol I just want to feel like me again! Not a sick and tired invalid! I just keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it once babies are here :) Well that's all for now, thanks for reading :)
Not my best pic, but you can still see my belly :) This is about 13 1/2 weeks